It's That Time Again...

I am a lazy, lazy person. I don't like doing things until the absolute final minute. Which would be why writing is sometimes so difficult for me: as I have no contract, I have no deadline.

The husband casually mentioned last night that, oh yeah, Guy's Night of Poker and Destroying Beth's House was, er, TONIGHT.

Last time the guys had a poker night, I got rather a lot of writing done...or at least I set a goal and strove for it.

Here lately, I've been, er, not been revising. I've been playing on the intarwebs, and I've been watching the television, and I've ever been cleaning house, but I've not been revising.

So...

Let the Live-Blogging (Revision Edition) Begin!

7:50pm: Hey, look at me! I'm starting 10 minutes before my goal of starting at 8! I'm awesome. I should update this on Twitter. Bet I lose my 10 minute head start that way...

8:03: The Intarweb gods are against me. As soon as I updated Twitter, Firefox crashed. Perhaps this is a sign.

8:06: OK, I need goals. Here's where I am now: I'm adding "comments" to my work as I read through it. I'm not stopping to change anything (save a word or comma...I am a grammar nerd, after all). I'm just reading through and adding in ideas. Here's a sample of what I'm doing:

(Click pic to enlarge) At the end of each chapter I'm adding that note: listing out the things I KNOW I need to keep focus on in chapters, what I know I struggle with the most. I'm also adding little marks to check references or continuity throughout.

So--GOALS. My goal is to make it to the middle of the book by the end of the night. That's a running start!

Hey! I'm starting a Twitter Revolution! Use #liveblogrevisions to follow me, @ckmarciniak, and @DanyelleLeafty (and anyone else who wants to join in) as we update our revision process tonight. Or, just add some updates to your own blog or comments here to join in the fun!

8:11: OK, updates done...off to revise a bit and will check back soon!

8:22: Busted out the post-it notes.

8:38: I'm actually fixing more than adding notes right now...revisions can be a process, like writing. I'm going to go with it for now, and do a combo of both notes and change-as-I-go.

8:49: This is going soooo sloooooooooow. But it's also giving me a realistic idea of how much work I need to do, especially with my male MC.

8:51: I got distracted by Twitter, then realized that revisions has my name in it. Seriously considering referring to myself as REVISions from now on...

8:52: Maybe I need a milder energy drink.

9:10: More post-its. I may not make my goal of half the ms. tonight, but at least I have a clear three-step program as an order of what to fix when.

9:11: The husband and friends have started watching Kill Bill Vol. 1. It is loud, but my typing is louder!

9:15: Resisting urge to check email...failing....

9:17: My writing theme song came on my iTunes playlist! Feeling suddenly revitalizes! Here I am to save the day revise my manuscript!

9:24: An advantage to taking notes during a read-through, as opposed to editing as I go: I can just highlight phrases, etc., and say "Should I cut this?" I don't have to decide to murder my darlings yet, I can do it later.

9:25: I've reduced my play list to three repeating songs. I hardly notice them as I revise.

9:31: Holy crap! I've only read through one chapter?! Well, I always knew that the chapters in the beginning from this character's POV were bad, but....dang!!!

9:43: Resisting email. Resisting....

9:49: Am now just listening to my book's theme song in constant repeat. No other songs, just that one. It lulls me into focus.

10:03: Made it to page 50. 125 more pages to go to meet my goal. Feeling a bit doubtful in my ability. But I will try at least!

10:04: One thing I really like doing: making the end note (see pic above) for each chapter. I've added a lot more internal notes on consistency checks, possible passages to delete, etc., than I've meant to, but even when I don't take too many notes in chapter, I still feel good thinking critically with those end notes. I do feel like I'm getting somewhere, especially since I make myself think of at least one thing to revise per chapter (or else give a reason why I don't need to revise that chapter)

10:27: Took a short break to ask some editing questions on Twitter. I have many opinions on dingbats (the # used for scene breaks) to sift through! But I LOVE getting immediate, direct aid from authors and editors.

10:36: The husband brought me a whiskey sour. Had to refuse--it will put me to sleep, and I need to focus! ARGH.

(PS: Whiskey sour recipe: Fifth of Jack D. Can of frozen lemonade concentrate. Can of beer. Blend in blender. Driiiiink. So good.)

10:45: Just realized Chapter 9 should be Chapter 3. Or maybe Chapter 1. Either way, it needs to be moved WAAAAY up. Crap. Crappity crap crap.

10:52: Read page 60, where a major inciting event happens. Made note to cut ten pages before this, so that scene happens by page 50. It's best to have the plot turn by then, especially if I can turn it on a cliffhanger, as the first 50 pages tend to be the amount requested in a partial. This would be a much better point to end a partial than my original 50 pages.

11:15: At page 70, and feeling very strong about this. Much better revisions here--the pace is good. I like my decision to cut 10 pages from first 50. Not sure which to cut, but know it will keep this pace going strong.

11:18: Realization: I work much better when I do it all at once in one major, fell sweep. And when I publicly make deadlines. OK, 100 more pages to go! *gulp*

11:28: Apparently the husband and buddies were looking for a video game for two hours. The husband finally asks me. I find it in 2 minutes. Back to work!

11:36: Add a new note to my end-chapter notes: the gun on the mantle. (Hey, it IS a mystery!)

11:44: I kinda wish I had a beta reader in my pocket, someone I could pull up immediately, shout "IS THIS GOOD ENOUGH YET?!" and then stuff back in my pocket until the next trouble scene.

11:49: Eep! Just wasted 5 mins looking at Neil Gaimon's kitchen. Did you know he was going to be on CBS Sunday Morning in October? It is true. And that is an excellent motivation for me to keep revising as I push close to tomorrow morning!!!

12:07: On page 80 now. I had a bit of a sweet spot between pages 50-80, where I knew I liked what I'd written and didn't need to change much. Going back into treacherous water now--this next chapter is probably the biggest problem in the whole manuscript (except for Chapter 1).

12:29: Clearly I am dreading this chapter. Just took a 20 minute break.

12:35: OOooo, I am really dreading this chapter. Started cruising intarwebs for what Amy (female protag) would look like. I never do this. But this pic does sort of match my image of her.

12:43: Maybe someone like this for Elder, my male protag. A little younger, perhaps, and with narrower eyes. Maybe this guy instead. Preferably a combination of the two.

12:45: Wow. I really love that red-head girl. She's perfect for Amy.

12:48: Seriously considering purchasing the stock photo at right. I think it's not too expensive. Could make a whole new webpage layout with her--could easily change background into a night sky scene.

12:52: ZOMG I AM SUPPOSED TO BE REVISING!!! HOLY CRAP!!! I TOTALLY FORGOT!

12:55: *blinks* When did it get so close to 1am? ... RIGHT. REVISIONS. *turns off intarwebs again*

12:56: That's a really pretty Amy, isn't it?

12:57: RIGHT. REVISIONS. BYE.

1:02: Crap. Out of Mountain Dew. Yellow Dye #5 is the only thing keeping me going. When did this get hard again? Oh, yeah, when I started hating that chapter...

1:19: Who's on Facebook at 1:19 in the morning? ...not a lot of people, actually.

1:21: Maybe left over Chinese food will rejuvenate me?

1:31: I have no idea what the crunchy things in my Kung Po chicken are (they are square and pale green), but they are an adequate substitute for Yellow Dye #5.

1:44: HA! Finished notes on difficult chapter!

1:45: My goal was to get to page 175 by 2 am. That...isn't going to happen.

1:56: Calling it quits. Got to page 102.

I fell short of my goal, but the important thing: I actually started revising. I'd been putting that off for so long that I ran the risk of ignoring it and doing a hash job. But I'm organized now, and I know where I want to go, and I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can do this! I just need more Kung Po chicken and Yellow Dye #5...

On Inspiration

I'm so going to cop out on this post today, mainly because I spent nearly all day yesterday tweaking my website (bethrevis.com) and am now feeling slightly sick that I've not gotten any critiques done for my friends and am falling behind on my own revisions. But! I am glad to have revised my website. It still featured my other WIP, but now is focused on the current one, Long Way Home. I know that some people like to feature all their WIPs on their website, but I want to focus on the one I'm marketing now.

One of the biggest things I had to change was my page on inspiration. For my last WIP, I had a clearly defined set of character inspirations: the teacher was inspired by Audrey Hepburn, the bad guy got traits of Nathan Filion's character Captain Mal on Firefly, the main character came from the myth of Bellerophon. But in my current WIP, there was no real inspiration from the characters at all. Not physically--one character's traits come from his heritage, and the other has bright red hair only because that was the most different hair color I could think of in contrast to the first character. And these characters had no real inspiration emotionally: who could I compare to them, considering one's been cyrogenically frozen and the other born on a space ship?

Nope--instead, inspiration for these characters came from the plot--this story started with plot, and I fit characters to them. So, where did the plot come from? That's what I spent a large part of yesterday analyzing. It's on my website here, but in case you'd rather not click over, here's where my last WIP came from:

On Writing: Inspiration

I love hearing about where books come from. Although often the source of a story untraceable thing as ideas feed into each other, in some cases it is possible to pick an author's mind.

Three books had the greatest influence on Long Way Home, but the seeds of my inspiration happened years and years ago, reading Agatha Christie in elementary school and junior high. As a kid, I never liked Nancy Drew. Her mysteries were too mild. But Agatha Christie had foreign detectives, murders, and even spies! I try to include some element of mystery in all of my writing--mystery, after all, keeps the pages turning--but I've never done a novel that revolves around a mystery.

A year ago, I read Jeanne Du Prau's first book in the Ember series, The City of Ember. I adored the mystery of that novel, which awoke my old longings to write a mystery of my own. One thing I particularly loved in The City of Ember was that the mystery was in a contained location: the kids couldn't leave Ember (at first), and everything had to take place in that one city. I thought that was brilliant, and started to play around with ideas of creating a contained mystery. Another walled city sounded too close to De Prau's work...a cruise ship had been done before...but what if it was on a space ship....?

But of course, I couldn't write that because I didn't like science fiction. Sure, I liked Orson Scott Card's Ender series as much as the next girl, but those giant tomes filled with physics and chemistry that my husband reads sounded much too much like a science textbook to me.

Then I read The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary Pearson. The plot was amazingly clever and I became instantly hooked on the wonderfully written characters, but the thing that stuck with me was the realization that this was science fiction. This wasn't a five hundred page epic with detailed analysis of the science behind the plot. Pearson used science in the same way that JK Rowling used magic: as a means to progress and enhance the plot, without an dissertation on the mechanics.

And that is what I set out to do: use science like magic, write a science fiction that worked like a fantasy. And, of course, throw in a murder mystery, too.

But it just wasn't...twisty enough. I had a setting, I had an idea of a mystery, but I needed a twist, something more shocking than your run-of-the-mill whodunnit.

Fortunately, I read The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner soon after. It featured a first person narrator, a style of writing I had never used myself before, and honestly, had never really liked. First person point of view always made me feel as if the story is being told to me by someone else, and I have trouble becoming fully engrossed with the characters. Turner was so skilled in this style of writing, though, and I fell into the world so completely that I never realized just how...unreliable...a first person narrator can be. I won't ruin the book here--you need to read it for yourself!--but I will say this: after discovering the twist the main character Gen creates at the end of The Thief, I realized that not only did I need a twist in my own novel, but by using a first person narrator, I'd be able to use my own main characters to deliver that twist.

Of all the stories and novels I've worked on, this one has had the most influence from books I've loved. Although Long Way Home isn't a copy of any of these works, it is the result of a reader's mind!


So, where does your inspiration come from? Do you start with characters (as I did with my previous WIP) or plot (as I did with my current one)? Or something else entirely?

Different Readers

There's been a lot of talk on the blogosphere about trust recently--and while Robyn talked about the importance of trust in yourself, Michelle talked about trusting advice, and Natalie talked about NOT trusting the rules, there's one issue about trust that kept wiggling around my mind.

The Trust of Readers.

Quit thinking like a writer for a sec--think like a reader. When you pick up a published book, you trust that author to an extent. You trust that the author is a good writer (at least good enough to be published). You trust that the author will deliver a well written book--both grammatically, stylistically, and story-wise. You trust that the book is worth your time--and (if you bought it) your money. You wouldn't shell out $15-$25 to a stranger for no good reason, would you? No--you trust that the story on those printed pages is worth it.

Now think about the last time you critiqued a friend's work.

Did you have that same trust?

I'm betting you didn't--because you weren't thinking like a reader, you were thinking like a critiquer. You didn't have the agent, editor, publishing house, and media hype to build up your trust in the work--you just had an unpublished document by a friend who freely admits (by asking for a critique) that she DOESN'T deserve your trust.

Did you rip it to shreds?

And, more importantly...should you have?

In the past few years, I've done every kind of critique there is. I've gotten beta reads from published and unpublished writers, I've paid for critiques from former editors, I've signed up for online critiques from agents and editors, I've done the first line/first page/pitch contests that riddle the kidlitosphere. I've been in three different critique groups, worked online and in real life with other writers, gone to two conferences, read writing books, and spent more money that I think I could stomach if I actually tabulated it.

Have they helped?

To some extent.

And now I can tell the difference. When I submit my work to people I've worked with before or know to some extent (either online or irl), I think I've built up a trust relationship with those individuals--moreso than with a stranger. They know I can write because they've seen me write before and are aware of my abilities. I'd even argue that you, as a reader of my blog, are aware of my abilities to a greater extent than the Internet population at large. You trust in my abilities to write a blog post, at least, and if you've been around here for awhile, you probably have a sense of my tone and style and ability.

But when I submit to online anonymous contests or do a swap with someone I'm not really close to, that trust isn't there. They don't trust that I can write--and the critique is affected by it.

Natalie's post on rules really made me think of this. If a critiquer is reading a portion of your writing and doesn't have the inherent trust of most readers, they'll nitpick the rules. Does it really matter if one sentence is passive? No. Does it really make much of a difference if you chose a different word to describe something? Not really.

I once entered an online anonymous first page contest. At least two-thirds of the commenters talked about my main character's name--NOT the story itself. Which. Drove. Me. Crazy. How am I supposed to learn something new when most of the comments are so banal?

Now, on the flip side, it's just as important not to get a critiquer who's too trusting of you. Like, say, my mother. She thinks everything I write is gold, and is, in this case, absolutely useless to my revisions.

This is why it's important to be selective about who you allow to read an unpublished draft of your work, no matter how polished it is. You need a critiquer who has Reader-Trust in you--someone who believes in your ability. At the same time, you need a critiquer who is a fellow writer, who can help with the actual writing of the story.

You have the right to be selective! Go out and find people who both trust in your ability and who help you achieve your ability!

Whoa!

Take heed: in the internet age, it's going to be easy to notice when everyone uses the same photo!

(But WHOA! How cool would it be to be that girl? I'd totally tote around all the books and brag to random people about how THREE different (major) books used me on the cover!)

Still Alive

WriterGirl (who I've upped to Super Hero status) (whose secret identity is Heather, but shhh don't tell it's a sekkrit) (who is also one of my early beta readers) (who you should totally be following, if you're not already) (who is also awesome) (and who is totally worthy of all of these parenthetical asides) ... ANYWAY, Heather recently pointed out to me that a song, "Still Alive" by Lisa Mistovsky, reminded her of the main characters of my book.

AND ZOMG SHE IS SO RIGHT.

I listend to it on You Tube, then looked up the lyrics, then downloaded it from iTunes IMMEDIATELY. Even the video, with the breaking glass montage, really reminds me of my main character Amy.

This is the New Official (Awesome) Theme Song of my Writing.





You have changed
I have changed
Just like you
Just like you

For how long
For how long
Must I wait
I know there's something wrong

Your concrete heart isn't beating
And you tried to
Make it come alive

No shadows
Just red lights
Now I'm here to rescue you

Oh I'm still alive
I'm still alive
I can't apologize, no

Oh I'm still alive
I'm still alive
I can't apologize, no

So silent
No violence
But inside my head
So loud and clear

You're screaming
You're screaming
Cover up with a smile I've learned to fear

Just sunshine
And blue sky
That's just how it goes
For living here

Come fire
Come fire
Let it burn and love come racing through

Oh I'm still alive
I'm still alive
I can't apologize no way

Oh I'm still alive
I'm still alive
I can't apologize no

I've learned to lose
I've learned to win
I've turned my face against the wind

I will move fast
I will move slow
Take me where I have to go

Oh I'm still alive
I'm still alive
I can't apologize no


So, do you have an Official (Awesome) Theme Song of YOUR Writing?

Writer's Book Review: Cindy Pon's The Silver Phoenix

HEY! Go check out Cindy Pon's interview with WriterGirl!

Why I Bought This Book: A myriad of reasons made me go out and pre-order this book from my local bookstore before it came out. First, Cindy's got a great online presence. Anyone who says blogging doesn't lead to book sales needs to talk to me: this is another one that I made an effort to seek out and pre-order the hardcover from an indie story based mainly on book bloggers (both Cindy's own and reviews). The other biggest reason for me to purchase this book is because of the Chinese influence on the fantasy. As world lit teacher, one of my fav subjects is Asian literature. I love learning about it and exploring the culture of all Asia, but China has a special place in my heart because of the beautiful poetry from the T'ang Dynasty.

Five Sentence Summary: Ai Ling is not a traditional girl: she's not over-the-moon about getting married, loves to eat, and when her father disappears at the palace, prepares to set off alone in an effort to find and save him. Even more unusual? The fact that she can see--and fight--demons. After teaming with the dreamy Chen Yong and, later, his adorable younger brother Li Rong, Ai Ling learns more about her unique ability to send her soul into others' bodies and control them. An ability she'll need, as an ancient evil man-turned-monster wants her for his bride!

So what can we, as writers, learn from this book?

[As always, highlight for spoilers.]

1. World-building Rich in Culture: This is something aplicable to any genre, not just fantasy, not just world based in a non-Western-hemispher format. It is important to have a culture to your world. This is too often swept under the radar in writing. How does culture influence your characters? It can be something as simple as food specific to your culture (look at Ai Ling's rich variety of Asian dishes) (PS: please avoid cliches such as tacos for Mexicans--really get into that culture). But it can be more than that. The gods and goddesses in SILVER PHOENIX were distinctly Asian--you would not have mixed them up with a western god, nor even with a different Asian god (they were not, for example, Indian--they were distinctly east-Asian influenced). Whether your novel is set in Iowa or Indonesia or a made-up world, make sure there is some level of culture present--it effects our every day lives, from our mind-sets to our eating habits, and it will make your story richer if you have it effect your characters, too.

2. Avoiding the Cliche: The non-spoiler version: the ending was not a cliche. The spoiler version: Look, Cindy had every chance to turn this into a happy ending (which, somehow, reminded me a lot of the ending of Mulan. In my head, not in the book. In my head, Ai Ling's father gives her a flower like in Disney Mulan, and Chen Yong shows up and saves the day.) In the book, though, while it was perfectly possible for there to be a Disney super-sweet ending with a bow AND a cherry on top...there isn't. Which, yes, does lead us open for a sequel, but more importantly...it's realistic. It makes sense. A Disney ending may have made some people happier--but Disney endings are never realistic. Oh, and also: There was another chance for a cliche in the middle of the book, the time when Li Rong dies and Ai Ling cuts out his heart. The whole time reading, I sort of expected for Ai Ling to reanimate Li Rong and it to turn into a monkey's paw ooops-zombies-ARE-bad-aren't-they sort of thing...but she doesn't. Ai Ling turns stupid long enough to cut out his heart, but she realizes her mistake and DOESN'T do the cliched thing of actually making zombies. Which actually really worked for the plot--it left this dreaded chance for her to mess up hanging in the air, and really ramped up the tension, now that I think of it. I hated Ai Ling at the time--I mean, come ON! We all know we're not supposed to wake the dead!--but now that I'm writing this review, I can really see how that did add to the tension of the overall novel.

3. Rich Descriptions: I've touched on this a bit with the world-building cultures, but I can't say it enough: SILVER PHOENIX really provides a great example of writing with rich descriptions. The obvious example of this is with the food (as mentioned previously). You don't just know what Ai Ling's eating for supper, but you know exactly what it smells, looks, and tastes like--and how excited Ai Ling is to eat it. But there's more than food here. The fish in front of the cave...Li Rong's funeral...Chen Yong's eyes...these are all richly described.

Quibbles: My one quibble with this book is a spoiler, and one I've already mentioned in a previous spoiler. In about the middle of the book, Ai Ling makes some decisions that I didn't like--I felt they were foolish, and it made me want to jump in the book and shake her. When she cuts out Li Rong's heart, and then later, when she's decieved by the monster-people...that really bothered me. I felt these actions were naive and ignorant at best, stupid at worst. Regardless, I did think that the resolution of both of these--Ai Ling NOT reanimating Li Rong and Ai Ling using her power to escape the monsters--made up for my frustration with her in the middle.

The Final Word: This book is rich in descriptions and culture--and tells a fascinating tell of girl trying to save her father in a world that is much more dangerous--and beautiful--than she ever imagined. I'd have no trouble at all handing this one to my students interested in Asian literature, and I'd be even more pleased to give this to some of my fantasy loving friends.

And in case you didn't click earlier: don't forget to check out the interview with author Cindy Pon on The Secret Adeventures of WriterGirl!

Writer's Book Review: Maria Snyder's Poison Study and Magic Study

Why I Bought These Books: About a year or so ago, my local indie bookstore held an author event for Maria Snyder. I didn't go. I've been kicking myself ever since. Not only are they fantasy, but they're not epic fantasy, which, frankly, I'm sick to death of. They're crossover between adult and YA, they have a hardcore girl as a protag, and they deal with poison tasters and dangerous magic. What's not to love? Now I've just got to convince my husband to let me buy the third in the series...

Five Sentence Summary (Poison Study): Yalena's been sentenced to death for killing an important politician's son. The fact that she killed him in self defense doesn't matter. Then Valek, the Commander's assassin and right-hand-man, gives Yalena an option: die now, or risk a slow death as the official poison taster for the Commander. As Yalena learns about food tasting and poisons, she also learns about herself--what happened to her as a child, why she had to kill the politician's son, how far she is willing to go to protect herself now, and just how important Valek will become to her.

Five Sentence Summary (Magic Study): At the end of POISON STUDY, Yalena left Ixia for the Southern land of Sitia. There, she not only begins her training in magic, but she also meet her family--two guilt-ridden parents and a brother who hates her now that she's returned home. She doesn't have time to worry about her family or her new life at the Keep--a murderer is killing off innocent young women in a style way too close to what she experienced in Ixia. As her magic grows, so does the fear of those around her: Yalena just might be a Soulfinder, the most feared sort of magician of all. Is her magic enough to stop the killer, or will it make her as bad as him?

So what can we, as writers, learn from these books?

[As always, highlight for spoilers.]

1. The Gun on the Mantle: "The gun on the mantle" is a sort of foreshadow. If a gun is on the mantle in chapter one, by the end of the book, that gun needs to go off. It's layering in clues of possibility. In POISON STUDY, the gun on the mantle is that Yalena's a poison taster. If you have a story about a poison taster, surely she needs to be poisoned by the end of the book, right? Right. And the scene where it happens, though short, is one that I read over and over...it was well done, surprising, and an excellent twist to the story.Ultimately, Snyder did not disappoint her readers' expectations--and that's the key.

2. Don't be a cliche: Perhaps because I've read too many books in this genre, but I saw the potential for tons of cliche, especially in the second book. They're all spoilers, so, yanno, highlight.

OK, so Yalena falls in love with Valek, in the first book, right? Well, in the second book, Cahill confesses his love for her. Now, in many, many, MANY books, this would be the perfect opportunity for some waffling on Yalena's part: does he love me? Which do I love more? JACOB OR EDWARRRRRD???? Gag. But fortunately, Snyder doesn't fall for that cliche: Yalena tells Cahill to stuff it, she'll be friends with him but nothing more because she loves Valek. It was actually quite comforting to see a real love relationship that wasn't built on lust and actually stood up well to trials.

Additionally, in MAGIC STUDY, the killer's not the cliched killer. Throughout the first half of the book, I expected the killer to be Goel, who Yalena pissed off early on. There was motivation: he wanted to kill Yalena, but couldn't, so was killing other young girls instead. He was the perfect, typical (cliched) bad guy...but he wasn't the serial killer. That really picked the book up for me in the second half, once I realized that the killer *wasn't* the obvious guy. And he wasn't the it-can-be-anyone-but-this-guy guy, either. For a while there, I thought the killer would be Dax--he was just too perfect, yanno? Nope. The killer was some random guy none of them knew. Which really makes sense. How likely is it that a serial killer's going to be someone you know?

End spoilers. As you can tell from that big white chunk, I was really happy that although this book had the potential for cliches, Snyder avoided them.

3. Mixing modern with traditional: Between these books and Kristin Cashore's books, this is what I think the future of fantasy is going to be. In my opinion, epic fantasy is on the way out, and books like this--series of mid-length books in more unique, less LOTR worlds--are on the way in. One thing that both Snyder and Cashore did was include more modern ideas (such as ideas on gender) in a less modern, almost medieval setting. This was both good and bad, IMO:

The Good: This one has the potential for controversy: The Commander is actually a girl, y'all. For reals. Yalena describes him as a girl with a man's soul, a cross dresser so adept at what s/he does that no one suspects the truth. While I can certainly see some people contesting the book on this point, I also think it fits with the story: the Commander would recieve zero respect as a woman, and zero power. Furthermore, I thought that bringing the Commander back in the second book, and Yalena's comment about his souls, fit well with the context of magic.

The Bad: Some of it was a bit too obviously modern-mixed-with-traditional. Take Yalena's parents' home in the second book. The clan lives in tree houses, which is fine, but it comes off as almost a Gilligan's Island with a coconut radio setting. There's an elevator--described as an amazing box pulled up with pulleys--and other details that were too obviously something from the modern world, but made with vines and wood and crap. Thing is: their society is a weird mix of magic and non-magic. Being too shocked by a simple pulley elevator (or an atomizer, or something that is obviously chocolate, just not called chocolate) is kind of pushing it.

4. Delving on the dark side: There are very very dark issues with both books. Rape, murder, and torture...and that's putting it mildly. Snyder's not afraid to go into detail: and it works for the realism of these books.

But here's what made it really work: the characters reacted realistically to the bad situations--and they didn't immediately get over them. It drives me crazy when something traumatic happens to a character, they cry, and that's the last we hear about it. Something traumatic happened to Yalena in the first book, and she's still affected by it in the second one. Something traumatic happens to a character in the second book--and she never really gets over it. It's realistic and well done.

5. Coincidental: Here's my biggest complaint about the second book: there were two scenes where everyone showed up randomly in a room. In both scenes, Yalena is talking to one person, then another person randomly shows up, then another, and another, and another. It was almost slapstick comedy. In both scenes, one character mentions something along the lines of "Hey! What a coincidence! This is crazy, man." But it just didn't work for me, especially after it happened the second time. People shouldn't just show up because it progresses the plot. There should be a reason for such coincidental meetings.

Quibbles: My biggest quibbles are with the coincidental meetings I just mentioned, which indicates a somewhat more serious problem that Snyder doesn't quite betray, but certainly dances around. Quite a few times, events happened in the book that were almost too convenient. It was almost a little too much as if Snyder was setting the characters up for the script rather than following their logical motivations and actions. It wasn't bad, but there were a few times that made me sigh.

The Final Word: These are addictive books. If you need no other evidence, then take this: I stayed up well into the night to finish both books, an honor that was last bestoyed on Harry Potter.

Four things On the Fourth

1. The first fourth of July I ever spent away from my family was in England. Which was fun. Because we went to all the pub, blew up fire works, and attempted to start pub fights in the name of honor and independence.

2. I got married on July 7th, 2007 (7/7/07). I thought, Hey! It'd be great for the two families to meet with a fourth of July cookout! Just three days before I get married! At my house! *groan* It was ROUGH...but also a lot of fun, and one of my happiest fourth of July memories.

3. I recently got back from Florida, after visiting my uncle, who is a WWII vet. He's the kind of uncle who likes to tell stories (which I love) no matter what the time, place or appropriateness (which my aunt does not love). But today, I find myself thinking about some of those stories with a smile on my face and a sense of awe in my heart. I think I'll go write him a letter today.

4. The Fourth of July is one of the few truly American holidays. It has no ties to religion, just history. William Faulkner said, "We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it." So, go out and practice some freedom today! Whatever your activity, be it cooking out, writing, going to the coffee house with friends, or watching fireworks, don't forget to be conscious of the freedom you have to do anything!

Contests & Anniversary Posting

Contests updated again!

But there's one contest I especially want to highlight: Tainted Poet's contest for EYES LIKE STARS.

Here's why: EYES LIKE STARS is a book about Shakespeare, in which (judging from some characters names) it looks like MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM plays heavily. And Tainted Poet's contest ends on July 7th.

Which makes me think some stars are crossing.

Wanna know why? Here's my entry post:

When I was in junior high, I tried out for MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM. I wanted to be Titania, but I got cast as Anonymous Fairy Number 3, which ended up being WAY more fun, because we got to just run around the stage and throw glitter around during the random dance sequence the drama teacher made up. In amidst the dancing and glitter, I noticed the sound guy, a guy dressed all in black with a weird name who was a grade below me. I never would have looked at him again, except fate kept throwing us together...and then we started dating in high school...and then we got married, eight years later. We celebrate our second anniversary July 7 (we got married on the infamous 7/7/07 date)...so if I win, that would be about the most perfect anniversary present I could imagine!!

Afraid to Tell the Story

While on vacation, my great-uncle handed me a portfolio.

"You should read these," he said. "They're short stories. My buddy writes them."

So, I read them.

*sigh*

Look, the story was good. Really--a man and his dog whether a storm on the ocean. A good story!

But the writing... Oh, the writing.

Y'all know I'm a grammar queen. I wanted to rip out my red pen RIGHT THERE and make corrections on the text.

But it wasn't just that. It was the characterization, the structure, the plot holes, the oh-wait-and-this-happened-to, the dues ex machina, the dialog... the writing.

The story was there--the writing wasn't.

That made me realize: this is, at least at some level, probably every writer's greatest fear. We know our stories are good! We know the plot twists rock, the characters are cool! If the story fails, it's not because of the story--it's because of our ability to write it.

While the above statement may not be true--this story, for example, is both a horrible story and horribly written--I do think that's many writers' fear.

It is mine. I know that this WIP I've got going on is probably the best story I've ever come up with. But does my writing live up to the story in my mind?

No. Not yet.

But it will.

So, how about you? Do you have a great story, but are afraid that your writing won't live up to it...or are you the opposite, with great writing, but worried about the nature of the story?

Revision Update

OK, so I'm sure you're all sick of hearing about my revision process, but I'd like to keep track of each stage.

1. Initial Reading: My real-life crit partner is still in the process of reading, but she's nearly two-thirds done. We're meeting on Saturday to discuss some pivotal scenes....
2. First Draft Reading: My early readers have their copies! Now to sit back as patiently as I can and wait ;)
   
3. My Own Revision Notes: This is what I really wanted to talk about...

At the end of each chapter, I'm forcing myself to write out a list of notes. I've been doing this long enough to know that I have certain strengths and weaknesses, so I'm targeting my own areas of weaknesses with this. Here's what I'm asking myself at each chapter:

• Drive: I remind myself of each character's main drive in life. For example, one character has low self worth and doubts himself, another character is driven by a sense of loss for her parents and need to protect those she loves. Everyone in life has one main drive to why they make the decisions they do: it's what makes us who we are. So I remind myself of my character's drive at the end of each chapter and make sure they're acting accordingly. I don't remind the reader of it every instance, but I add a bit of dialog where one character says something a bit defeatist, or the other decides to do something herself so she doesn't put the others at risk. Think of Harry Potter: he didn't remind the reader he was an orphan every other page, but it was still a deep driving force for him throughout the entire series.
• Event: This is simple: what happens. This won't work for everyone, but for me, I try to have one key event happen in every chapter. It sounds a little formulaic, but it doesn't read that way (I hope). Basically, with this note, I'm forcing myself to evaluate each single major event in each chapter--and whether it's worthy of progressing the plot. Sometimes we writers write really cool stuff...that has nothing to do with the plot. So I hope to use this to weed out some of the fluff.
• Motivation: This is linked to drive, but I am going to be a little more specific. How do each of my main characters react to the major event in the chapter--and why do they act that way? By evaluating their motivation, I hope to keep the characters realistic, and spot irregularities within them.
• Clue: This is a murder mystery, so I'm making sure that there's at least a subtle clue in each chapter. Yes, each chapter. I am striving for a bomb-shell like twist similar to that of Megan Whalen Turner's THE THIEF, and I'm hoping that my book has some re-readability factor to it. So I'm putting in at least one subtle clue per chapter, so that when the reader reads it the first time, they don't notice it's there, but when the reader reads it a second time, they stop and go "Wow! That was there on page two?! Cool!" This is my color red in THE SIXTH SENSE.*
• Problem: This will not be in every chapter, but towards the middle, the main characters are going to have some problems to solve. In each chapter where there is a problem, I am going to closely examine the problem--because a problem I have in my own writing is making the characters do something because that's what I need them to do in order to progress the plot. They don't act logical, they follow my script. So when I encounter a problem in my text, I'm going to brainstorm at least three possible solutions, and then give a valid reason for my characters to do one of them. Because "just because I want them to" is not a good reason for them to solve the problem.

And that's it! That's what I'm listed out at the end of each chapter. I've already made a few corrections based on this method--in the first chapter, my main character feels claustrophobic and reacts based on that, but it fits much better with his character to have him react to feelings of low self worth (thanks, Christine, for helping me with that one!). So far, this seems to work. But I know that if this does work, it will only really work for this one manuscript. My strengths and weaknesses change with each manuscript I work on.

So, how about you? How do you tackle identifying and correcting the weaknesses in your manuscript?

PS: Updated Contests

There's only two contests linked, but they're good.

Wait a Minute...

Some of you astute readers may have noticed that critique groups are not a part of my Massive Revision Plan.

Well...no. No, they're not. Technically Robyn's a critique group, but since there's two of us, we're more flexible and quicker than other groups. And the writer pros are a group, but not in the formal one-chapter-a-week kind of set-up. But I do have two groups that do weekly submissions, and they're not on the list as part of my revision plan. Why not?

The Problem with Critique Groups

1. They have a schedule. Which means, you're stuck with a certain number of pages a certain amount of time. One of my group does a chapter a week, the other does a chapter every other week or so. By that time line, I'd be lucky to finish the novel with the second group before Christmas.
2. They read small selections spaced out over longer amounts of time. A chapter every other week leads to the inevitable question in the notes ...did you introduce this character before? ...was there foreshadow for this in an earlier chapter? You lose the thread of things when it takes you till Christmas to read a draft, and you can only read ten pages every 14 days.
3. They tend to focus on the minutia. In part because critique groups by their nature struggle with big picture ideas in a WIP, they also tend to comment on smaller, nit-picky details that are sometime irrelevant to the overall work.

The biggest consequence of these three things? It makes it easy for the author to lose her voice. When you become quagmired in the small details and suite your writing to a constrained schedule and ignore larger concepts like pacing, you end up listing events rather than telling a story.

Why Critique Groups are Essential
None of that was to say that Critique Groups aren't worthwhile. They are. They are. But for different reasons.

1. Critique Groups teach you how to critique yourself. How many times have you heard the pithy statements "show, don't tell," or "POV problems"? But did you ever really understand them in your own writing until you caught it in someone else's? As a teacher, I see this all the time. I understand so much more about T'ang Dyntasy Chinese poetry now, when I teach it to my students, than five years ago when I read about it in college. When you try to help your critique group member with a problem scene, you'll realize more how to fix that kind of problem in your own writing.
2. Critique Groups notice patterns. If you fall into a typical set-up with your chapters, for example, and always start with dialog and end with a cliff-hanger, the critique group tends to notice that much more than a reader reading the whole work. If you have repetative words or sentence structure, group members are better at spotting that sort of problem. In fact, if you stick with a group long enough, you'll start thinking of them when you write. To this day, I take out semi-colons because I know a member of my group will tell me I overuse them (but they're so much fun!).
3. They tend to focus on the minutia. One of the downfalls of groups is also a strength. We all need help with grammar. We all need someone to point out that that one sentence on page 34 has really crappy diction. We all need to have someone show us how those three lines of dialog over in that scene are really stiff. This may not be what makes or breaks a story--it's not identifying a major plot hole or correcting a flaw in character development--but still, it's the difference between good writing and great writing.

So in the end, where do Critique Groups fit into my Massive Revision Plan?

All over. I've already started my WIP with both of my scheduled crit groups. As they read and comment, I'm storing their comments, but not using them to revise until I'm near the end. From there, I'm going to compare my final draft with their notes through the text. They're going to be my final check list. Did I fix the problems they pointed out? If they had questions in a chapter, where those questions answered (at least in another chapter)? Did I fix the minutia they pointed out?

Sure, neither group may be finished with the entire WIP by the time I've got a polished draft to send out. But that's fine. They'll both be at least to page 50 by then (standard for partial requests). And by continuing to send the WIP to them after I submit to agents will keep me focused and in line--both on further revisions and on agent submissions.

When I try to use critique groups as my only source of revision, I find that I don't push myself hard enough, and that the critiques don't always fulfill my need for revision. But when I utilize the strengths of the critique groups alongside my other revision plans, I hope to have the best possible method of revision I can get.